hold me tight book review
It's so crucial to understanding empathy and compassion and it uses scientific evidence to reinforce the notion that, like it or not, people need people and it's important to make the best of companionship in whatever form it takes. This is the book we recommend the most in our practice, and the basis of our Emotionally Focused Therapy methodology. Not in a relationship? Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. Hold Me Tight is designed to help partners gain insight about themselves and one another and to enhance their communication, whether or not it is broken. Or you can just read it for yourself pre any marriage or committed relationship. Indeed I feel like we didn’t need seven conversations. The author says that John Bowlby with his attachment theory revolutionized the understanding of human psychology. No matter how unique, bizarre, or exceptional you (or your relationship) may be, I guarantee there's something in this book that applies to you and is important for you to be aware of. Dr. Johnson is one of the preeminent marriage therapists today, and the founder of an approach to couples therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). I found many intriguing insights in the book that offer good looks into my own psyche and my wife's. My husband and I have a tradition in which we buy a book on relationships/marriage, read it together, and discuss the concepts. It takes Bowlby's attachment theory and expands on it for adults and their relationships. It took the core values I held about life, and showed me how to really live them better. I read many books to see if they could be beneficial to my clients. However, I think that the attempt at putting the highly interactive and experiential (not to mention effective!) The author says that the powerful emotions she experiences in couple’s therapy are not irrational but make perfect sense. Hold Me Tight explains readers that the most important element of any intimate relationship is emotional intimacy. Those who are doing well. Great Wisdom Would this be a useful book for me? If I had to summarize the lessons I’ve learned from all these couples, they would look like this: This is the best book on relationships that I have ever read. Go beyond the anger to understand how your deeper needs are shaping up your cycles of negativity. A middle-aged woman sidelined by a horrific accident finds even sharper pains waiting on the other side of her recuperation in this expert nightmare by Hardy, familiar to many readers as Megan Hart, author of All the Secrets We Keep (2017), etc.. Five months ago, while she was on her way to the hospital with an ailing gallbladder, Diana Sparrow’s car hit a deer on a rural Pennsylvania road. Underneath the distress, partners are desperate to know: Are you there for me? You will find that the content issues–finances, in-laws, parenting, sex, etc.–do not really matter … Nude, as in, everybody in attendance, guests and minister (excepting, hopefully, his clerical collar) included, sans sartorial stitch one. Particularly eye opening for me was the idea that communication and conflict management is often about solving the signs and not the root problems. Anxious also need to take concrete steps to tackle their oversensitive attachment systems. I love reading books that help inspire me, challenge me and change me. EFT is a short-term, structured approach… It’s for anyone who’s ever loved or been loved by anyone, and wanting to get better at building loving relationships. Cut foot-loo-zah!". I know it sounds like a petty gripe, or trivial thing to focus on given the uplifting nature of the subject matter, and perhaps it is. Bravo!— I’m so grateful I read this book! I thought that this book would be more about attachment theory and how the attachments of our childhoods affect our adult relationships. This is compared to most other forms of couple therapy that achieve a 35 percent success rate. Dr. Johnson is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a highly effective, research-backed. Read it. This book should also be read in steps as you progress from one level to the next. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love is a “consumer grade” version of her approach, sophisticated enough to be effective yet approachable enough for just about anybody to understand. We would have approached lets say misunderstandings between us in a different more understanding way. Book Review: Hold Me Tight. 3. Once we understand this and can allow for it (and can show/speak to our spouse with this understanding) then our marriage will flourish (as well as our relationships in general). I enjoyed reading the book and using some of the exercising to deepen my insight and understanding of myself and my partner. Industry Reviews. When a safe connection is lost we go into fight or flight mode. The author uses corny names like "Protest Polka" (I prefer "defense-withdraw dialogue"), but the concepts are really helpful. And universal. Having read through the whole thing, I can agree, in my limited experience. i was able to get past the awful self-help style and diction and get to the heart of what she's saying--basically applying bowles' attachment theory to adult partnerships, and putting forth the idea that it is not only normal to need other people (esp your partner), but it is actually healthy. I can’t recommend this book enough. They are what Gottman mostly focuses on in his. Read it. It moves in short chapters between several separate story lines which eventually intertwine in a very clever way. The writer is clear and non-judgmental and stays away from too much psychological analyses and language. Check out the best relationship books or get the book on Amazon, Tag:hold me tight 7 conversations, hold me tight dr sue johnson, hold me tight sue johnson, Communication Doesn’t Fix Couples’ Issues: Emotional Attachment Does, The first four conversations limit the negativity in the relationship. No matter how unique, bizarre, or exceptional you (or your relationship) may be, I guarantee there's something in this book that applies to you and is important for you to be aware of. 5 stars for the content - very important and useful for all couples, family relationships, and counselors. For example, "Hold Me Tight" made me recall against my will that Kenny Loggins dumped his first wife in order to marry his colonic therapist. Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. 7 Conversations Confusing THE BOY NEXT STORY. A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book... the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century.--Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Getting It Right the First Time Wonderful!...Hold Me Tight blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. 7. Helpful. To learn about what we say to kids well meant but in fact how it can be completely wrong and can develop attachment styles is something that we have under estimated. A paradigm changer--it felt intuitively right from the first chapter, yet I also see the world in a different way. Hold Me Tight MP3 CD – MP3 Audio, April 15, 2014. Enlightening. Read the book, see what you can relate to, then if you have the inclination, find an EFT therapist. The last 3 all rest on the emotional foundation of the fourth conversation. This book was recommended by my wife's uncle, a teacher/couples therapist, who recommended it as one of the best books written about relationships. Recognizing Demon Dialogues – First of all you identify the common emotional reactions that lead to arguments and negative cycles. Now I unde. the book actually helped me understand every relationship i've ever had. Their fight was almost word for word what ours looks like.”. Of course, being Coben, there are lots of twists and turns along the way with one I was really not expecting right at the end. Her focus has been couple therapy and adult attachment. Nothing wrong with the concept, I guess, but who wants to see Mr. The fourth conversation is the one that transforms relationships by making them more accessible, emotionally responsive and engaged. This is basically where you learn emotional intelligence. 1 by Tiffany Schmidt ‧ RELEASE DATE: May 19, 2015 ... BOOK REVIEW. Verified Purchase. Im no literary critic. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy … Listening to the audiobook I find it hard to clearly define and differentiate among the seven conversations. Read the book, see. Becoming more emotional intelligent will not only make your relationships better, but it will outright improve your lives. The best predictor of marriage solidity is the couple’s emotional responsiveness (also read: turning towards). The real pity is that it felt that the main core message was a bit diluted. We need emotional attachment as much as we need food, sex and shelter. This was much better than the kitschy title led me to believe. But it’s overwhelming for anxious attachment types. This book was an interesting counterpoint to. Refresh and try again. (I still think that Bonds That Make Us Free by Terry Warner is the best book on relationships that there is. It may sound like hyperbole, but I honestly believe this book could be a blueprint for world peace. It really gets to the root of things. The writer is clear and non-judgmental and stays away from too much psychological analyses and language. Topics Dr. Johnson addresses include: attachment and bonding, the science of love, interventions to repair relationships, and forgiveness. I happen to think EFT is a great couples therapy, but I still like to use behavioural meth. We long for that same closeness, the opportunity to be who we are completely, permission to be needy and longing for affection from our spouse (as we had from our parents). Sue Johnson is an Ottawa-based professor and relationship therapist who noticed that traditional therapies often didn't work. Reading this book literally saved our 26-year marriage. 2. Hold Me Tight is designed to help partners gain insight about themselves and one another and to enhance their communication, whether or not it is broken. I almost didn't read this because of the title, but I'm glad I did. This is compared to most other forms of couple therapy that achieve a 35 percent success rate. MP3 CD – MP3 Audio, April 15, 2014. by Dr. Sue Johnson (Author), Sandra Burr (Reader) 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,868 ratings. I think the author's seven conversations are too complicated to be practical but it was helpful to be shown how easy it is and the many ways we can misunderstand and be misunderstood by those w, The main insight I took from this book is that adults, just like children need love and caring. With a lot of psychological depth and helpful tips, this book stands out from the rest. This book focuses on the love relationship as an attachment bond and addresses how partners can become more emotionally receptive and responsive to their loved one. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. Hands down the best relationship book I have ever read. HOLD ME LIKE A BREATH From the Once Upon a Crime Family series , Vol. The first four conversations limit the negativity in the relationship. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love is a couples therapy book written by Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and developer of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. Sue Johnson says that love is the pinnacle of human evolution. It takes Bowlby's attachment theory and expands on it for adults and their relationships. by Tiffany Schmidt BOOK REVIEW. Why: Because a friend of mine said about it: This book is FABULOUS! Keeping Your Love Alive – Here you learn to make your Hold Me Tight learning a mainstay of your relationship. Her approach, Emotionally Focused Therapy, has been proven to help 86 percent of couples become happier in their relationships. 1. I needed to journal and grow with it a bit and that took months. Hold Me Tight is designed to help partners gain insight about themselves and one another and to … Book Review: Created for Connection: The “Hold me Tight” Guide for Christian Couples – Seven conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer. Now I understand why I react and behave the way I (and others) do -- wish I had known this in previous relationships. The premise is that we are so emotionally caught up in the minutia of our romantic relationships because of our associations and links to our past relationships with our parents. 5.0 out of 5 stars "HOLD ME TIGHT" -- A Guide to Fulfilling Modern Relationships. Book Review: Hold Tight. While it's not the most well-written book in the world, the message is invaluable. Not in a relationship? They work at the beginning, but they set out a vicious spiral of insecurity that pushes the couple farther apart. Endorsed b. I had to think about and sit on, over time, these ideas and concepts. I struggle to find books that are helpful and not just the feel-good self-help type of book. Because when it comes down to it, most of our arguments with our spouses is about wanting to feel more loved/cared for/affection/connection. Read it. But those are only the signs, not the core of the problem. The writer is clear and non-judgmental and stays away from too much psychological analyses and language. The core of her theory is that loving relationships are built on … Hold Me Tight is the best book I have ever read on couples therapy because unlike a lot of other books, it makes sense and it works. This information about Hold Tight shown above was first featured in "The BookBrowse Review" - BookBrowse's membership magazine, and in our weekly "Publishing This Week" newsletter. This is the bedrock of a solid relationship. I gained a lot of insight about how I love, how I need to love better, what healthy love really. 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