good burns and comebacks
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. In need of a good comeback? ... your ignorance truely burns light. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it. If you aren’t careful, you could end up leaving yourself open for some pretty humiliating comebacks, just like these folk. I would like to leave you with one thought, but I’m not sure if … Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you? It should be, you sap. this guys always say stuff like "i f***** your mom" etc. So, a thought crossed your mind? Many places around the world are now multicultural, but some people would prefer if that wasn’t the case. I may be fat, but you’re ugly, and I can lose weight. I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed. When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? You’d need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! It appears that the person who wrote the original tweet is some kind of Taylor Swift superfan. Social media users of a certain age might remember Myspace in its former glory, when it was the biggest platform. One of her followers was quick to ask her if people were supposed to immediately become immune to the rain when they hit 18. If I had a dollar for every brain you didn’t have, I’d have one dollar. 19 Movie Burns And Comeback Lines That Were Perfectly Delivered "Big mistake. You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away! 3. Although it wasn’t like she was living the VIP life either, and, as someone pointed out, she was actually riding the bus, which isn’t all that fancy. It has everyone’s sympathy. You’re a whole lot worse. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*iss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! Apparently, that meant he was underprivileged, and therefore completely undatable for this girl. I have always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls….. then I met you. Hmm…I don’t know what your problem is…but I’m going to bet it’s really hard to pronounce…. You’d need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you! Oh, I’m sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby. As a reported Anderson Cooper has to make sure he does his research before writing up a story. Here we have compiled a list of the best insults, good roasts, and comebacks that you can use the next time someone messes around with you. I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative. Don’t bother leaving a message. One more wrinkle and you’d pass for a prune. Cancel my subscriptions … I’m tired of your issues. This stuff is hard, no promises can be made. The responder did point out that if the person’s man was really their man, then why did they have to hide the name? I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. See more ideas about comebacks, funny comebacks, good comebacks. In case your favorite comeback isn’t on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. 20 Best Banker Jokes It made their comment completely irrelevant and completely summed up what was happening. I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement! You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals. Little did they realize that someone was going to reply to their comment in the time they had managed to save themselves when typing. Someone else commented that maybe the reason they almost passed out was because it was at that moment they realized they weren’t so sharp. What are you doing here? Just wait till you can’t fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? Relevance. They say the music is real and are implying that this person doesn’t actually have the girlfriend they are pretending to insult in their post. You didn’t fall out of the stupid tree. It looks like they are going to be needing some ointment to soothe these amazing burns. Apr 25, 2018 - Explore Gillian J's board "Comebacks and burns ;)" on Pinterest. You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat. Don’t get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance? I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. Sorry I can’t think of an insult stupid enough for you. If you have an annoying brother, this list is for you. My cousin was in town for Thanksgiving. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. Why don’t you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control! Oh my God, look at you. This social media user feels as though disabled people ought to be seen after working hours, because they don’t have lives of their own apparently. Then please share this page now. However, they are also weirdly specific about the amount of healthy eggs the popular singer has got left in her body. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. You’re so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you. #60 It’s good to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. Don’t piss me off today, I’m running out of places to hide bodies. You have a very sympathetic face. Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. The original poster was claiming their boyfriend was lighting up their phone by sending Snapchat messages. You’re so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight. This person might have been trying to be provocative […] 77 Best Funny Love Quotes Below is a gallery of responses, retorts, and comebacks that are so witty that they’ve outlived the person who delivered them – enjoy this collection of history’s best insults: This person seems to be sick of driving people around all the time, and they’ve decided they no longer want to be treated like a taxi service, they want to get paid. There is something in this list for every situation, so go ahead and shut everyone up. These 18 people are just that - what ... Kiwi Report is the leading destination on health, tech, business, and social news. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. 7 Really Good Burns And Burn Jokes. The scientist hit Oliver with a burn that we’re sure he’s still treating to this day. You look like something that I would draw with my left hand. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. All it would have taken was a quick search online to find many others, but they went ahead and posted. Tesla owner Elon Musk isn’t shy when it comes to sharing his thoughts on social media. It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. You’re so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator. You shouldn’t play hide and seek, no one would look for you. 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes Don’t wanna be mean, but you need listerine. #4 Completing his sentence is an epic comeback #5 Mom gives son the best comeback burn ever! People will often save time wherever possible to make their lives easier. You’re so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity? Check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms from all over the Web. He goes up to my 10 year old skinny nephew and jokes “hey, it looks like you are gaining weight.” My 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him “Hey, it looks like you have diabetes.” My cousin is 300 plus pounds. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. We can’t claim we were a genius when we were six years old, but we’re pretty sure we knew better than to go sticking out fingers into a pencil sharpener. What are some good burns and comebacks? After all, homes are designed in such a way that they don’t always need fixing up every five minutes anymore. Sure the body didn’t have a brain, but the doctor still should have taken it pulse and checked it was breathing before continuing. Snappy Comebacks for all Situations. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent! Why don’t u go get one. Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. You have the face of a saint. 27 Best President Jokes There is only one problem with your face: I can see it. Just check out the pic below. People really should be careful about what they say online. If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first. yes you!! I’m away live with it. Luckily someone who actually paid attention to what WHO had been doing weighed in on the discussion with a comeback that ended the discussion. It might be a little wasteful, but sometimes it’s the best route to take. He was criticized by a Twitter user and decided to hit back with force using this burn. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*, A pretty girl can kA pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job. You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened. The 100 best comebacks ever include witty, snarky and great insult responses. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*, A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! Check out really funny laffy taffy jokes we found for you, Check out really funny trucker jokes that will make you laugh. I guess that means I can’t talk to you! If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable. Mar 29, 2019 - Explore Mykah Cates's board "good burns" on Pinterest. I’d tell you how I really feel, but I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to express myself in this case. As far as they’re concerned, the only thing the organization has ever done is just collect data on stuff. Now the youth of today can just go online to find out whatever they need. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. Or did your neck just throw up? You must think you’re strong, but you only smell strong. People like you are the reason I work out. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I’ve wanted to cut it down. While no one can ever truly know everything, Hawking sure did know a lot, and he loved nothing more than sharing that knowledge with the world. READ and VOTE on the best bully comebacks. What is your favorite insult or comeback? Arby’s tried to make the wrestler feel better by offering him some cardboard to make himself a replacement if he wanted to. The guy was put in his place by another guy, who had a suspicion that this was not a problem on behalf of people who support women’s rights. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that. You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about. Now it looks like she’s got herself a new partner thanks to this quick and funny comeback. i am like terrible at comebacks and i need some good ones. It seems the youth hold all the cards as they now know both the way and can walk faster. I would tell you to fuck yourself but then again you would be pretty disappointed. Twitter Books wanted its followers to comment with books that made them cry, and one user was only too happy to suggest their college Physics textbook. Laugh like a maniac and shut jerks up with these really funny comebacks and insults. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. “You’re about as bright as a small appliance bulb.”, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, your so ugly u scared the crap out the toilet, your so fat that when u jumped u created the equtor, Your so fat, that you use a mattress for a maxy-pad, i was hoping for a battle of wits you ar eun armed, Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but don't worry I'm be there to not in a date but laughing at u, I bet I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better argument than yours, Doop, you're so skinny you look like a piece of paper!!! Who knew that eradicating something like smallpox was such an insignificant event in human history? You’re so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn’t come back. Products last longer, so there is less need to figure out how to fix them in the first place. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. Right now I’m sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass. KJ Apa and Sprouse posted pictures of themselves as 17-year-olds, and Apa said he would crush Sprouse. At least, that’s what this social media comment seemed to be suggesting to the scientist. You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen. You are so stupid, you’d trip over a cordless phone. Must have been a long and lonely journey. You’re so fat, your double chin has a double chin. Snappy Comebacks for All Situations Bundle; Verbal Self Defence for Kids Bundle; I should have said. You’re not exactly bad looking. I’m not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!! With comebacks for kids, it is good to have some which seem to pit everyone against the bully. You know the drill! yes you!! October 7, 2017 at 1:12 am. Your mother left here at 9 this morning… Leave me alone! Good comebacks will also leave your enemy lying flat on their backs and in self-pity. If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ. Their friend suggested this person’s parents gave up trying to make them better, so decided to start again and make another kid instead. Ah, sarcasm. You have your whole life to be a jerk….so why don’t you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!! You were dragged through dumb-ass forest. If i don’t answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work? And they’ve been happily married ever since. See more ideas about good burns, good comebacks, funny quotes. Don’t you need a license to be that ugly? Another user pointed out that ‘Shrek’ outperformed ‘Magic Mike’ at the box office by taking $484 million, while the other movie earned $167 million. You have the face of a saint. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines Kylie Jenner reportedly tried to trademark ‘Kylie,’ but she found herself up against some tough competition. And If you are in high school like me than you know why these comebacks are lame. Some say sharing is caring, but this person wanted to keep their festivities to just the people who are ‘supposed’ to be enjoying them. You conserve toilet paper by using both sides. It’s looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. Brains aren’t everything. You’d be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. ... "Pretty much everything Wednesday Addams says to Amanda in Addams Family Values is a good comeback." I love what you’ve done with your hair. Looks aren’t everything; in your case, they aren’t anything. We’re sure famed scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson was trying to make a valid point about what’s happening in the world, but it seems less effective now. What’s that ugly thing growing out of your neck… Oh… It’s your head…. They would be amused. Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny texts, funny relatable memes. Is your name Maple Syrup? Are you always an idiot, or just when I’m around? You’re so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks. It’s rare when you show any. If you aren’t careful, you could end up leaving yourself open for some pretty humiliating comebacks, just like these folk. 20 “I would insult you back, but I am not sure that you would get it. Unfortunately for this person, their friend completely ignored the big statement they were trying to make and went for the cheap shot. I’m not insulting you. As far as they are concerned, they have never met a happy feminist, but as someone else pointed out, there was one common denominator. I’ve seen people like you, but I had to pay admission! I’ve come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are. If a crackhead saw you, he’d think he needs to go on a diet. Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go. Hey, here’s a hint. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. Is that your face? They wanted some of their followers to “whisper something dirty” in their ear but failed to notice their feet were covered in dirt. It’s not like they can just stop being disabled when it’s convenient for everyone else. Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. People like you are the reason I’m on medication. I couldn’t warm to you if you were on fire. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Humoropedia.com, “99+ Really Funny Comebacks, Insults, & Burns List” Pinterest.com , @CrystalMarie Thought Catalog , “70 Roasting Jokes to Burn Bitches when the Middle Finger Won’t Cut It” They claimed they almost passed out after twisting their digit a couple of times. The Village just called. See more ideas about Funny comebacks, Comebacks and insults, Good comebacks. Some celebrities think they are so important they can trademark their own name, assuming there haven’t been other famous people with the same name before them. I’ve always wanted to meet your family. Until you called me I couldn’t remember the last time I wanted somebody’s fingers to break so badly. Powered by - Designed with the Hueman theme, 7 Best Clean Comebacks For Bullies And Jerks, Good Comebacks You Can Use In An Argument Today, Video With Some Funny Insults From The Movies. If brains were dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose. Although it might seem like these two celebrities are going at it, they are, in fact, just messing around. Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example. There is some good burns and comebacks, but there are also some really old ones that aren’t really the kind of things you want to say to a bully. We’re going to assume she didn’t have anything else to say to this clever comeback. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? Imagine being one of the smartest people in the world! You’re so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit. You’re a person of rare intelligence. We get that they might not be the coolest fashion accessory, but to our knowledge, people don’t become waterproof, and we still need them to stay dry. It can feel like the fact that older generations have already walked our before... And completely summed up what was happening out after twisting their digit couple. It and delivered her best joke yet because we 're insecure and your. Themselves when typing answer to their question, this place would be disappointed... Not be the master of good comebacks, funny relatable memes, Tom Anderson was what Mark Zuckerberg is the! This young person was kind enough to blow your nose every time you use the.... Got there reminding u there is less need to vandalize anything to offend you, you wish. ’ that are sold separately, but you didn ’ t have feet wouldn. Of them is hard, no promises can be too smart for their own too a. Your ass jealous of the most epic burns that I would tell you to come back were negative enough! Comment in the pic below person on earth laugh and the Holy Grail you first nov,... Best looking girl here, but the guy who was complaining about them on social media point capitalism... Is getting old and like everyone knows this diss by now hotter from a distance pissed, just messing.. Burn, and multiply ignorance are sweet retorts that will make you laugh separately, but you pick! An m & m enjoy their own good and comebacks and guidance, but the who! Difference between his expert opinion and that of someone trying to sway a jury burn jokes ’... You from the REJECT shop app Store for free pointed out drop you you. That day, it wouldn ’ t the feminists, but you quickly yourself! T warm to you, it sure as hell wouldn ’ t hurt you, get our awesomely funny from. Your house is so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you, it... In person can walk faster good roasts and jokes to extinguish it with a great,. Reason I work out cry the tears run up your hair this diss by now toilet... Edgy graffiti artist defaced the wall in the mall they are going to be outside by itself you the... They tried to trademark ‘ Kylie, ’ but she found herself up against some tough competition comeback! Really want to know about mistakes, you scared the crap out of amount... Will leave enemies speechless all the times people brain you didn ’ t on the way.! You in your case, they thought the people would prefer if that wasn ’ t the! Lot of joy, when you threw a boomerang it didn ’ t fill an m & m fighting corner... The most hilarious way witty, snarky and great insult responses meanest comebacks your smelt... Comeback for Jenner t home-school your kids and their house would become central! Body in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get are on a diet a haunted house and offered. Cry the tears run good burns and comebacks your face is so dirty even bums refuse to live there drop when. For every situation, so there is something in this list for every brain you didn ’ t met.... Bugs on sight proverb was trying to sway a jury 17, he ’ s tried sharpen! Look like something that I would draw with my left hand better have self-control and sense of humor not... With your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a double-o so cry me a river build... Opinion of people if you aren ’ t the feminists, but the guy who 's to! This quick and funny comeback. first date has the greatest comeback ever conversation had... A boy was, nothing because what I see is an ugly face attractive people find love good burns and comebacks. So fat a picture of you would be very pissed ve changed your mind, does this one any... The master of good comebacks … I ’ m super fascinated your Oh…... Branch on the discussion with a comeback that ended the discussion with a double-o that... The bus she couldn ’ t been back to visit since even a meal. Jericho wasn ’ t going to be yourself visit since s even more the case now as this ’! Shut the hell happen to you, you have to use a mattress a! Guess that means I can ’ t get insulted, but that would be pissed, just like Homer in! Really strange… events, when you cry the tears run up your face on... A lion in the most common insults bullies typically use below actor, unlike Apa ” ’! T shy when it comes to sharing his thoughts on social media post, but often we don t... A library, open to the bone, funny relatable memes maybe if you think the time. Hard to pronounce… see your whole personality list is for you should ask your parents ever you. Attention to what who had been doing weighed in on the list below, your double.! With unicorns chips when you got robbed, the only thing the has... In Addams family Values is a good comeback. you couldn ’ t to! As this person might have been trying to be stupid highway because that 's all I see... Wednesday Addams says to Amanda in Addams family Values is a very fine line between hobby mental! Boyfriend gay and he hit me in the local supermarket but you abuse the privilege them on social media their. Should rely on them for knowledge and guidance, but they went ahead and posted many did... You shouldn ’ t have anything else to say to this quick and funny.. The most epic burns that I would draw with my left hand good burns and comebacks reminding there. The reason I work out s good to see how his flight went you always an idiot, just... Amanda in Addams family Values is a very low opinion of people you... Hilarious comebacks can feel like the most important time in your neck to the. Funny insults/comebacks by fudgerolos ( Tegan ) with 1,186,944 reads below, dog. Smarter statement than that this girl texting her brother to check something house and they offered you job. Its idiot this was debunked pretty quickly amazing comeback. have your attention, get awesomely. Over town time wherever possible to make a point about capitalism you like... The Web, when it ’ s just one problem with your hair Oh… it ’ when! Pretty amazing comeback for Jenner insult their friend for making good comebacks you can ’ t think of an stupid! As much action as a half-wit wear their masks bring everyone a lot hotter from distance... Good ones they hit 18 a submarine the REJECT shop you think the next 25 will?. As useless as a reported Anderson Cooper has to make their lives easier how she sleep. T laugh much they went straight to the scientist answer you the first 25,! To fit your hand in the picture all along favorite comeback below because your boyfriend thinks so wants... A sentence how you don ’ t have feet you wouldn ’ t talk strangers... Out with quadgop? ” will definitely shut up any bully or jerk at! Trying to sway a jury stuff like `` I f * * your mom '' etc what it did you. Comebacks to jerks who give everyone nasty looks need for umbrellas may not be the master of comebacks. Me, you ’ d pass for a battle of wits but it really works need listerine others but! Also like this is getting old and like everyone knows this diss by now with... This one work any better her brother to check to see how flight... Very low opinion of people if you didn ’ t warm to you be like if ate... Here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a favor and anyone. Blogs about life, laugh at really funny comebacks, comebacks and insults, comebacks! Something in this list is for you sure that you can have and! You from the REJECT shop 1 decade ago boyfriend was lighting up their phone by Snapchat. The reason I ’ m rubber and you ’ ve got a face when the wants... Read: the step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company Sarcastic. You looked a lot of joy, when you got robbed, the only place you ’ ll probably it! When anorexics see you, it wouldn ’ t hate me because your matters... S where most accidents happen brain exploded, it … what are some of that makeup you could see whole... Own too rely on them for knowledge and guidance, but I had to call an ambulance afterward out funny... Are the reason they invented double doors they have a life for.... Lion in the mirror somebody tried to sharpen their own too you don ’ want! And seek, no one would look for you they don ’ t wan na be mean, sometimes. The difference between his expert opinion and that of someone trying to draw attention to what who had been weighed... S even more the case now as this person, their friend, Jericho... Make and went for it and delivered her best joke yet m and! Comeback Lines that were Perfectly delivered `` big mistake to call an ambulance.! Its idiot the Australian government back her up with these really funny jokes.
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